Who Am I ?

Who Am I?

I always keep asking to my self, who am I actually? Almost everyday I keep on asking to my self, WHO AM I ? ( Almost Everyday ) Almost all the time bad thing happen to me. Where should I go now? I not even have place where should go except in my bed Room. Haaar? Bed Room? What so so so spacial about my bed room? In my own bed room, is where I can ask this question to my self ( who am I ) I don't have place where should I tell my problem . I don't have any body who are willing to listen my problem ( maybe there is people who are willing to listen my problem but there must be a reason why should I avoid to let others know about my real problem ). Is it all people are in same situation like me? yes, maybe just a few people who are in the same situation with me.

Again, who am I? Am I perfect human? Obviously is NOT. I'm not perfect..... I got a big problem in ENGLISH, I'm sure you all notice bout my English language. My grammar are totally terrible until someone can't even understand what the HELL I'm talking about. Yet, I TRY MY BEST to solve my English problem, If not..... This Blog will be in Malay Language. Did you know, I already take MUET (Malysian University English Test) for 2 times, yet I fail... FAIL! Did you know how tension and depress I am? For the 2nd mark, I can't even let my Mom know bout it. If I cannot pass this test, I will not be able to graduate... OMG! This is totally one of my serious problem.......... Did you know, is hard for me to get an A in any of my subject. In my exam, I always get C... Even I hard to get B in any of my subject. Last time during SPM (Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia), if you are not from Malaysia, SPM is a one of the BIG EXAM for Malaysian Student. SPM is one of the horror thing on student life. During SPM, I just score 1 A. JUST 1 A... And did you know what is the sad thing is, I never get any A for my big Examination and this is the 1st time I get A in my life for big examination. Did you know what subject I score for that A? Is just ART Subject! Not even Mathematics or English or not even my owl Malay Language. Did you know how sad my Parent is. That was my past.

I want to have a spacial Girl friend, I always see people lovely dovey in front of me, Go ahead, is not your problem to lovely dovey in front of me. Is not your fault anyway, is your freedom. I know for those who are couple are not happy always, there is time they will argue which each other. I experience it once in my life. I know how hard it is if we start to argue or fight with our love. I know! I been dumb for 2 times. 2 times! How hurt my heart it is. Is not me who are wanted to break up, but she is the one who are wanted me to break our relationship. It's all because she found a good looking guy. To be honest, did I make a mistake? Or, what is my Mistake? Even she break with me, I know it hurt my heart , but I still forgive her on what she did to me. Some of my friends said (why did you forgive her mistake?) Hurmmmmm....... That was an old story. Already 5 years that thing happens. Still there crack on my heart. Then I try to approach to one girl when I already enter University, yet it fail. FAIL. That's why I never try to approach or try to confess it again to others. Don't want sit in my bed room for 1 day. The bad thing is, I'm not romantic person, and I am a quite person. ( That is why I being DUMB(maybe))

I want to be an Artist or Comic maker or cosplayer or even Musician, yet, I can't. You see, my drawing is not nice like other people. Comic? I can't even finish my comic and yet I already abandon my comic for how many month already. I already have the story in my head, yet I cant even express it. Plus, tell me, who want to hear the story? Who want to see it? Nobody, nobody wanted to hear the stories is, nobody ask me who is this character, nobody asking me what are this character, how the story looks like. No one care! Only 1 person who are love to hear this story, only 1. He is my Big Brother. Only my Big Brother asking me all the time. I cannot expect too much. And yes, thanks to my friends and those who are like my art work, I really appreciate it. Thanks.... I want to be a cosplayer, I can't ! Only once in my life I feel how being a cosplayer. I love it, I like it. But, I'm alone. Yet, the one that I cosplay also is one of the simple character...... i want to be a Musician, I love listen to music, yet, I can't. Tho only music instrument is HARMONICA, and yet, only one song I can play it well, but the sing is too childish. (Twinkle Twinkle Little Star) I don't have talent?

Who am I? Am I just a normal person? (maybe YES or Maybe NO) I want to be somebody, I always respect people, but people hardly to respect me. I don't want back to my old me..... What is my talent anyway? Is it because I don't have any talent? Or is it because I never meet my real talent? Who I want to be? What is my destiny? Again and again and again, who am I?

I never express my feeling like this in any places. This is my 1st time I express it and share it. Even though is just 10% of it. Please do not laugh. Thanks for reading it.